Looking for funny anniversary quotes? Right this way!
Anniversaries are a time to celebrate. Of course, you could use them as an opportunity to share romantic anecdotes and warm wishes, but let’s be honest: what’s love without a little laughter? Including humor can keep things light, spark joy, and remind you both that love is meant to be enjoyed.
So, whether you’re looking for funny anniversary quotes for your husband, wife, or even your parents, we’ve rounded up 60 of our favorite, light-hearted messages. Use these wishes in a card or include them with the ultimate anniversary gift!
FUNNY ANNIVERSARY QUOTES FOR YOUR HUSBAND
1. “To my husband: I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me. Happy Anniversary!”
2. “I love you. Thanks for killing all of the spiders this year. Happy Anniversary!”
3. “Happy anniversary from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
4. “I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday, you made a mess in the kitchen.”
5. “I can’t believe how long we’ve tolerated each other. Cheers to another year!”
6. “Happy Anniversary to someone I can talk to, laugh with, cry with, and cause some trouble with. To my partner-in-crime!”
7. “Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Donatella in Letters to Juliet
8. “Congratulations on surviving another year of my terrible cooking and questionable fashion choices.”
9. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”
10. “I’d like to publicly thank my husband for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…” – Kristen Bell
11. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments.” – Chris Rock
12. “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
13. “I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it.” – Unknown
14. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh I put up with you. So, we’re even.” – Unknown
15. “My dear husband, I want you…To do more around the house. Happy Anniversary!”
16. “I shave my legs for you. It must be love. Happy anniversary!” – Anonymous
FUNNY ANNIVERSARY QUOTES FOR YOUR WIFE
17. “Congratulations on tolerating me for another year! Here's to many more years of putting up with my nonsense.”
18. “Happy anniversary! You deserve a medal for putting up with me, and I deserve a trophy for resisting the urge to hide your socks.”
19. “Here's to the person who knows all my flaws and still thinks I'm fabulous. You must be either crazy or in love. Either way, happy anniversary!”
20. “It would be hard to imagine a life without you – laundry, cooking, and cleaning don’t just happen by themselves…JK, I love you. Cheers to us!”
21. “So…Same time next year? Happy anniversary!”
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22. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you – I’d say that’s a win! Happy anniversary!”
23. “I still love you, even if you ALWAYS fart in your sleep. Happy anniversary!”
24. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.” – Anonymous
25. “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late” – Anonymous
26. “Let’s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me. It was a lost cause anyway. Happy Anniversary.”
27. “If I had to choose to do it all over again, I would marry you again… I’m not so sure about having the kids though.”
28. “I’ll love you even when you’re old and wrinkly.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
29. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you are looking for, go and live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
30. “Happy Anniversary to the best first wife I’ll ever have” – Anonymous
31. “To my favorite blanket snatcher…happy anniversary!”
FUNNY ANNIVERSARY WISHES FOR YOUR PARENTS
32. “We hope you celebrate your special day in style, even if that style is pajamas, slippers, and an 8 pm bedtime. We love you!”
33. “A good marriage is like a casserole – only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.”
34. “To the parents who still manage to surprise each other after all these years: You might have forgotten where you put your glasses, but you've never forgotten the way to each other's hearts.”
35. “Mom and Dad, you've proven that a strong marriage is built on communication, understanding, and the occasional whispered argument when you think no one is listening.”
36. “Congratulations on tolerating each other's quirks for yet another year! If I've learned anything from you, it's that patience is both a virtue and a survival skill.”
37. “You two are a classic couple, like peanut butter and jelly, Batman and Robin, and the TV remote and the couch cushion. Here's to many more years of perfect pairings!”
38. “Mom and Dad, you're not just an inspiration; you're a hilarious reality show. Keep the episodes coming!”
39. “To the parents who still hold hands, dance in the kitchen, and occasionally mix up each other's names – you've made growing old together look like the best party ever.”
40. “They say marriage makes you live longer – this must be true, because you two have been married for eternity. Here’s to forever, Mom and Dad!”
FUNNY ANNIVERSARY WISHES FOR YOUR FRIENDS
41. “Marriage is all about finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. I’m so glad you found yours! Happy Anniversary!”
42. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. But whatever you two are doing is working…keep it up!”
43. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel De Montaigne
44. “If love is an amazing dream, then marriage is the alarm clock.”
45. “Congratulations on your achievement! Here’s to another year of sorrow and pain.”
46. “Marriage is a three-ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and suffering.” – Chester Wooley
47. “Drug stores understand life. That’s why the anniversary cards and sympathy cards are right next to each other.” – Anonymous
48. “Happy anniversary! Keep loving, laughing, and annoying each other for years to come.”
49. “There will be no refunds. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!”
50. “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams
51. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”
FUNNY 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY QUOTES
52. “Cheers to 50 years of tolerating each other's quirks and pretending we don't snore.”
53. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade.”
54. “Even though you’re losing yours, let’s keep making memories together.”
55. “Thank you for growing old with me. It’s a good thing I find wrinkles adorable!”
56. “A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” – Paul Sweeney
57. “On our anniversary, let’s celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.” – Anonymous
58. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie
59. “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henry Youngman
60. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
These funny anniversary quotes are a great way to embrace the joys of marriage and relationships. So, go ahead and celebrate your love with a sprinkle of humor, because there's nothing like laughter to make your anniversary truly memorable.
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